As a young child I had a scarring experience when one of my favourite sweaters had shrunk in the wash. Ever since then, my laundrying takes a little bit longer because I refuse to ever use the dryer. It might take longer but I never run the risk of shrinking any of my clothes. I like how they fit; when I buy something new I don’t try it on and consider how it will fit on me after it has shrunk. I also don’t wash any of my clothes in anything other than cold water and they always come out clean.

Anyway— F***— before the weekend I did a load of laundry. There’s not a lot of room in our “laundry room” and, being lazy, I decided to put some older shirts in the dryer. I figured they likely wouldn’t shrink anyway but even if they did they were older and I wouldn’t care. Well they shrunk, of course, and I discovered that I do care that I’ll never be able to wear those shirts ever again.

So f the dryer. I’m never using it for the rest of my life. Unless I’m doing someone else’s laundry.